Debretts Guide to Etiquette Examples 1 - Table Manners

I promise you these are all taken word for word (almost) from the 2001 Debretts New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners...a constant source of amusement, in my opinion:

Did you know that it is not well bred / vulgar:

- to eat bread rolls with your right hand. Bread rolls should be broken into bite size pieces. It is VULGAR! to bite into bread!

- to ever refer to 'pudding' as 'sweet', 'afters' or 'dessert'!

- to eat bananas 'monkey style'! First, peel with a knife ( 'a knife!?'), and pull off the skin. Cut of 1/3 inch at each end and cut in to small discs and eat with fingers or a fork

- to pick up bones to eat inaccessible bits of chops and game birds. It is theoretically acceptable, but is best avoided in public!!! (this is just brilliant cos it implies that many of these etiquette rules are written for when you are at home alone with the missus! And there's no mention anywhere of how to approach eating on your lap on the sofa, whilst watching the telly)

- to eat pasta with a spoon and NEVER with a knife! (I sort of knew that). Place the fork vertically and twizzle a small quantity of pasta, pulling it towards the side of the plate, and perfect bite-size bundles will form (they make it sound so easy but over 20 - 30 years I have had far more trouble eating spaghetti neatly than any other food...'perfect bite-size bundles will form...!!!???' indeed!)

And it shows good breeding if:

- you use your napkin for dabbing not scraping your lips, and in some instances to wipe the edge of your wine glass 'between sips'

- you serve quails - and more rarely gulls and plovers - eggs hard boiled, in their shells

- when drinking tea you hold your tea cup between your fingers and thumb; do NOT! allow fingers to curl around the handle. NEVER! drink with the little finger in the air (god forbid!). Do NOT make slurping noises (did they really need to add that last bit..it seems a little more obvious than its predecessor? Hmmm...must remember to 'not drink my tea with little finger raised in the air'... must remember 'not too slurp whilst drinking my tea'!?)

- you serve oysters only in months containing the letter 'R'!? (but in which language!???)

- salads are eaten with a fork alone (I promise you it says this next bit, I promise:)...this custom dates back to when poison was sometimes injected into the veins of lettuce. To cut into your leaves would suggest that you harboured sinister suspicions about your host!

Link to their site:

http://www.debretts.co.uk/advice.php?id=20

Thankyou very much to Debrett's for existing and keeping this stuff going...!

Why does it feel good and why do people like to be near water?

I'm pretty interested in this question, and I think it's silly if people say 'well you need to drink water to survive' because it seems tome it must go a bit deeper than that. We all want to 'go to water' when it comes to holiday time and for many of us our ideal place to live would be 'by the water' or 'with a view of the water'. It's some kind of swarm-like, obsessive behaviour!

Some interesting suggestions here:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081002174836AA86jFu

...but I find myself asking 'well why is it soothing and relaxing, why is it pretty to us, why do we feel calm when we are in it or on it', which leads on to all this stuff about where we come from (most of which is hard to follow, but still):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_Ape_Hypothesis

Whether liking the Audi A3 Cabriolet and 'Mamma Mia' so much means I am 'too' in touch with my feminine side...?

This has been insinuated...however I should point out...

The Audi A3 cabrio seems to be a distinct improvement on the A4 cabrio in a number of areas...but in the end it is a compact car which makes it a bit cheaper (thereby a more realistic future acquisition) and I am sure makes it more fun to drive, whilst there's still space for the kids in the back. So, what's wrong with that?

and...

Mamma Mia is a feel good film - of course - but over and above this I like the way it presents all generations in a kind of cool, positive light (and this is somewhat re-assuring for someone approaching their 'middle years') and since it is SO upbeat I can see myself watching it a few times, especially if I need cheering up! It's not as if when the dad in the Sound of Music finally breaks and starts to strum 'Adelweiss' I break down in tears as well? No, no, not at all!

What do YOU think?
(you may treat that as a genuine offer to comment, and not as a rhetorical question)

Additional 11th Place I've been and can recommend - Weston Super Mare, Somerset, England...

I must apologise for my omission of Weston Super Mare in the list of 10 favourite places I've been and can recommend. Thanks to Mr Cholmondely Forbes, who despite having a quite ridiculous name, spotted this omission.

I have gone to the trouble of creating a dedicated blog for 'Somerset's jewel', which I trust compensates to some degree for my oversight...

http://westonsoopermare.blogspot.com/

BBC Radio 4 News Quiz...

...is very entertaining:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/newsquiz.shtml

And, 'Just A Minute' and 'I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue' are equally good...

Real News clippings from the show:

"A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

"At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff."
(Aberdeen Evening Express)

"Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out Heil Hitler".
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

"Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)

10 Best and Worst things about living in Bulgaria

10 Best things...

1. Beautiful lakes and mountains - especially Mt Vitosha near to Sofia
2. Nice coast and beaches, especially Sozopol and just south from there
3. Easy access to skiing
4. Generally that most things are relatively cheap, especially eating out and beer in restaurants
5. People that know you being very hospitable and generous
6. The beautiful (I had to say it) women
7. Amazing mayonnaise-y, pepper-y, aubergine-y, etc. based salads
8. The proximity to Greece
9. The fact that the country is in transition and will obviously look and feel quite different in 20 years
10. The way that Bulgarians sometimes seem genuinely pleased to learn I am foreign, and especially so if I've made an effort to speak Bulgarian!

10 Worst things...

1. On the roads - no one letting you in from side roads
2. On the roads - too many drivers overtaking on blind corners and the brows of hills
3. On the roads - too many drivers queue jumping and blocking traffic from other directions at junctions when roads are busy and so guaranteeing gridlock
4. On the roads - too many drivers flashing their lights in outside lane of motorway to make you move aside even when you are travelling faster than the slow lane and are being held up by slower cars in front of you as well
5. On the roads - not obeying lane discipline and parking space common sense - even in multi-story car parks, so that sometimes the resulting gridlock (I promise you this happened!) leads to waiting for up to an hour to queue out of such car parks...you only have to combine 'people parking where they want', 'getting flustered about waiting and so driving up the oncoming lane' and 'concrete walls on all sides' to guarantee such gridlock...
6. On the roads - lack of acknowledgement of other drivers being on the road generally - i.e. stopping suddenly for no apparent reason and wherever you want; crawling by the side of the road at about 10 km/h; doing u-turns wherever you want and without checking behind; people in parked cars opening car doors without looking (a personal favourite of mine!); and despite the other mayhem cyclists riding at night, without lights, the wrong way up the road towards oncoming traffic
7. On the roads - the general condition of the roads, and that it is 'alleged' that much of the allocated money does not make it to 'the roads'... and that ironically some of the drivers of cars that are upsetting you and behaving like they own the road may be among the same people that have ensured that funds have been directed away from investment in the roads in order to purchase their cars...actually if that is the case (as some have 'alleged') they have even 'less' right to behave like they own the road!
8. Taxis - drivers being rude, always smoking (yes - and would you believe it - frequently in cabs with no window handles!?!), not moving their chair forward for you if you have long legs (why would I want to be comfortable if I'm the one paying???), and frequently turning you down if they don't like the sound of the journey you want to take...yes, 'service' is literally oozing from their pores...!
9. Customer service - indifference and/or rudeness (and especially the audible 'huffing'). I enjoy bored, smoking shop girls, slouched back on stools, staring daggers at me because I contemplated entering their shop
10. Being stared at...when it becomes evident I am not Bulgarian in a shop queue, usually because I am asked about the dimensions of the carrier bag I would prefer (although it's surprising how often you can get away with saying 'da'...and if you see they look confused... ' ne'... or 'gulyam', but if it reaches the 3rd of these I am normally asking it more like a question than stating it positively like I know... but also being stared at when stationary in your car at the traffic lights - this has made me physically 'jump' whilst saying 'uhhh!' - on more than one occasion

But I do love it here! Please don't wonder 'well, why don't you just bugger off home then!'

Banned Beer Ad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r9qBHuBrig